THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY OF JKUAT ‘KIPAJI NIGHT’

Just so it’s out there, before the order of the day,  in no way should the sentiments expressed in this article be viewed as criticism or anything of such sorts. This is just one man’s unbiased point of view. I am into Events Organizing myself so I know how difficult it could get to pull off a successful event without any hitches. With that said, pardon any lines of text that may seem as ‘bad-mouthing’ here. No harm, or offence, intended to any concerned party.

 

The Good

If there’s one thing I represent in this world it’s entertainment. I love entertainment. I literally eat, breath and live entertainment. From the Daylight Festival at Mamba Village, UoN’s Free Travelling Theatre Monthly Shows, to the Hip Hop HookUps at Sarakasi Dome, I’ve attended and seen it all. There’s something about events and entertainment as a whole that just makes me tick. This nagging urge is soon going to lead to the inception of an entertainment outfit, Edgy Media and Entertainment, a brainchild and collaboration of the Sons of Were but we’ll talk about that some other time. First things first.

 

So JKUAT’s Kipaji Entertainment brought us this semester’s second edition of the ‘Kipaji Night’ which, without a doubt, recorded the largest number of attendance since I stepped foot into this institution. I’ve never missed a single edition of ‘Kipaji Night’ from my first year to date so trust me, I know what am talking about. Coming to think of it, this year’s freshers are actually good for business, speaking from an events organizing point of view. They attend just about every event in the school and have absolutely no problem with paying the entrance fee. Mmmmhh…I think that pool party DilRay Inc. and I had thought of but given up on after noticing how stingy JKUAT pockets were last year wouldn’t be a bad idea after all this time round. Am just saying.

 

Anyway, so the event was scheduled to start at 6 p.m. (according to the posters) but it began at around 8 a.m. for untold reasons. But get this, freshers were already in by the scheduled 6 p.m. C’mon guys, is it just the confusion that comes with the first three weeks in school or y’all never attended any event before? No event ever starts at the exact scheduled time yo’. Okay, I’ll stop my bashing of the first years now.

 

‘Kipaji Night’ began on a relatively high tempo. A group of ‘riddim heads’ calling themselves ‘Eturian Dancers’ (or something like that) took to the stage and totally blew it up before the host MC of the day, the Story Teller, grabbed the mic and cracked the crowd up then invited on stage the first performer. I can’t really quite recall the names of all the performers but all in all, JKUAT has talent too. Gospel artistes, rappers, poets, singers, spoken word artistes…you name it. But like I always say, don’t believe everything I tell you. Make a date with the Kipaji crew on their next summit and see for yourself. I give credit only where it’s due and so far, these guys are doing a helluva job revolutionizing the whole concept of entertainment in JKUAT. Hats off to you; C.E.O Solo, MC Story Teller and company.

 

Fun was also in store for the audience when for a minute there, MC Story Teller brought to the stage some cute little lass with a monstrous weave above her head (presumably a fresher) and invited representatives of the ever-present Team Mafisi who believed they had what it would take to toa nyoka pangoni. Basically, he wanted a guy who would tune the damsel till she was practically drooling over him. Sema wanaume kujiamini. Four guys went up the stage (though I was practically responsible for pushing the forth guy up there) to have a piece of their 15 seconds of fame. Now, the guy I pushed up the stage goes by the name of Davie; a buddy of mine. A Luo by nature, a goon by behavior but a real nigga nonetheless. This is a guy I literally snatched a girl from his fingertips back in high school but still believes he has a smoother tong’ue than mine. That’s partially why I pushed him up there; to prove to him that he gat nothing on me. So he was given the mic to go up first and the very first thing he said to that chic proved my point. You know how Willy Paul went to the States for 3 weeks then came back calling water ‘worah’? That was the accent my man Davie used on the chic. Picture the male version of a K.U blonde trying to get laid after solitarily downing a whole bottle of ‘Kibao’ vodka, you’ll get my point. Needless to say, Davie was booed off the stage by the incessant crowd and he came back to his seat baying for my blood, blaming me for pushing him up there. And for the record, the sole reason I didn’t go up there to tune the chic myself was because she’d have been waiting on my bed by the time I was done with her. I’m bad like that. But am a married man now so the goon in me has to lay low. Word of advice, son, never mess with the Son of Were. But what beats me was the fact that, out of the four guys who had climbed up the stage to tune the chic, it’s some drunkard that laughed straight to the bank having swept the girl off her feet with a couple of smooth flowing lyrics. And this is not a joke people, the guy was stark drunk as he bagged that innocent girl’s heart. He had even been kicked off the stage twice but insisted on taking part in tuning the girl. Fellas, when a drunken man takes a woman away from you is when you know you have no game whatsoever. Davie, I assume you’re taking notes. Aye?

 

So after the performances from the JKUAT fraternity, the host MC invited the guest MC, one Marlboro from Churchill Raw, to do what he does best before introducing the guest acts of the night. And he did. Then he brought us DK Kwenye Beat, Hopekid and Willy Paul who has a special place in ‘The Ugly’ segment of this review. On a serious note, DK needs to trim down that weight. Dude’s kitambi was falling all over the place. The guy can’t even dance to his own ‘Furifuri’ dance style right now. He sure can still move a crowd though. Then there’s Hopekid ‘The General’, the kid who stole some Jamaican song called ‘Dream’ by one Popcaan and turned it into his own. Labelling it ‘Like a dream’ instead. But it was a nice song though, to be fair. It’s actually his only song I actually enjoy to this date. ‘Delilah’ and ‘Holiday’ have never washed down well with me though. Am a hard man to please people, I don’t bow to mediocrity. That’s why if you enjoy the (in)famous ‘Tam Tam’ song I would probably stop reading this article here if I were you. You were warned.

 

I’ve gotta give it up for one particular JKUAT performer though; one dancer by the name of Mathias. Guys, this ninja dances. Forget those stupid riddim moves, Mathias dances like those zombies on Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’ video. No gimmicks. You put anything within the strokes of ‘No air’ by Chris Brown or ‘Miss Independent’ and I tell you, this kid will blow you away. I bow. If you’re reading this, boss, I’m looking for you. Find me, we can make a lot of money together. Heheh…Not that am a dancer too, am just a self-proclaimed talent scout like Mzazi Willy M. Tuva. I can take you places, no gimmicks! Find me.

 

The Bad

There was this one guy in the room, his friends called him Kabaka (who names their child that?), who was dressed like he had just had an encounter with the rainbow. White trench coat, pink shirt, light blue khaki trouser and white ‘sharp-shooter’ shoes…does fashion get any worse? And to make matters worse, this son of a gun was the loudest throughout the whole event, screaming at any and every performer he felt was half-baked. Getting on stage to perform in front of a full campus assembly hall is no joke folks, respect those who have the courage to do so. So, ostensibly to shut Kabaka up, MC Marlboro got off the stage, went to where he was and cracked some joke that must’ve come out like “Boss, next time uko na dem make sure umetumia condom bana. Budako alishafanya mistake na wewe, usirudie ivo wewe pia. Wewe mwingine sasa iyo itakuwa noma zaidi.”

 

Let’s take a minute to digest this first. I agree, it was mean jest. But it’s a whole different issue when you decide to start a physical exchange with the MC in a hall full of people just ‘cause he threw a nasty tantrum your way. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say the guy was merely seeking cheap recognition. Dude, we already know you drink like a starved fish and are louder than the horns that tore down the walls of Jericho, we don’t need you heckling our guest MC to prove anything else. Sit yo’ ass down!!

 

Then there was this one Spoken Word artiste called ‘Mende’ who quite literally forgot his lines on stage, was booed down and asked for one person “mwenye ako na nguvu akuje hapa aone”. LOL. JKUAT people really gotta stop ‘catching feelings’ aimlessly though. And booing performers too, it’s kiddish and downright backward.

 

The Worst

Willy Paul was the last perfomer of the night. Get me right here, Willy Paul is a big name in the Kenyan Gospel industry. The kid can sing, that you can take to the bank any day of the week. Give all the Gospel artistes in this industry just a microphone, no instrumental whatsoever, on stage and I tell you ‘Silly’ Willy will emerge somewhere up there (behind Bahati of course…ahem!). The boy has talent, no one can refute that. Not even I. But I adore the Willy Paul of ‘Sitolia’, ‘Mpenzi’, ‘You never know’. Where did he go? What did the Willy Paul of ‘Kitanzi’, ‘Kwa vile’ and ‘Tam Tam’ do to our original Willy Paul. People change, Yes. But I’ve always thought it’s for the better. Not for the ‘stupider’. No offence but we all know Willy and Size 8 stole ‘Tam Tam’ right? Here’s a piece of evidence courtesy of Ghafla!, a conversation between Size 8 and the actual owner of the song, one Elijah Prince. And get this, she was apologizing for being part of the ‘thuggery’:

 

 

Meanwhile, all was going well with Willy Paul’s performance. He even taught the ‘Eturian Dancers’ how to dance to ‘Tam Tam’ and got the whole crowd off their seats to the front so they could sing along. Not the whole crowd per se but majority of it. Of course I didn’t get off my seat. Why would I sing along to stupid lines like “Kama ni kachumbari…oohh tulikula lala. Kama ni katurungi…blah blah blah? I’d have to be mad to get off my seat for such mediocrity.

 

Well, as fate would have it, Willy Paul’s performance was brought to its knees by an electrical fault coming from some extension, or socket…I don’t really know these electricity stuff so well, in the room. The mic wasn’t working and the music went mute. ‘Silly’ Willy tried to explain to what had happened but the crowd would have none of it. They wanted him to continue performing. They wanted more songs. Davie was now practically baying for his blood, shouting some ballards within the lines of “Hatutaki ufala. Tulilipia bana!!” Mark you, the guy hadn’t even paid the entrance fee. He had been boasting of how he had gotten in through the window unnoticed all night long. Like it was something to be proud of; getting through the window to avoid paying a Ksh. 50 event entrance fee. Really? 50 bob bana? Puh!

 

Willy even agreed that once the situation was fixed he’d come back to perform but no one was listening. Unprintable insults were flying all over the place. The kid finally had it and got off the stage and just went away without as much as a goodbye.

 

And that, ladies and gentlemen, was September’s second edition of the ‘JKUAT Kipaji Night’ courtesy of Kipaji Entertainment. I understand more are still to come so be on the lookout for Solo and crew. I took no pictures this time, blame that on whoever stole my phone ‘cause I have no camera, but I sure should next time.

 

Blessed!